Summary: And he’s filled with the urge to end this, win or lose.
a/n: written for iliaccrests because pacific. rim. this is supposed to be the scene before the triple attack part. and. i need to stop writing things that i won't repost.
“So,” Sehun starts with a weird wave of his hand. “This is it, huh?”
Jongin smiles a little in return. He knows that despite the bright smile on Sehun’s face, his stomach is probably in tighter knots than Jongin. If working alongside Sehun has taught him anything, it would probably be that Sehun has carefully mastered the art of plastering a look of casual indifference to his face, regardless of any situation.
The lift ride up is filled with Sehun, chattering away nervously, about things he would want to do after all this is over, places he wants to visit, people he still wants to love. Mindless, little things that Jongin already knows from their first drift, but he appreciates the chatter, even though it does little to take his mind off anything.
Echoes of their boots clashing against the metal ground as they take their first steps into the machine is louder than ever, ringing deafeningly in Jongin’s ears, and Jongin reaches out for Sehun’s hand in a rush, just before they take their positions. Sehun stares at him quizzically, and Jongin’s breath catches.
There’s so much he wants to tell Sehun, about his life, about his past, his present, and maybe his future; things that he’s never bothered voicing because Sehun probably already knows it all, sees it first-hand whenever they drift.
If there is a future for us, I want you to be in it.
“Guys, I need you to take your positions,” Chanyeol booms, his voice devoid of the bubblish laughter that Jongin has gotten accustomed to.
Sehun gives him an encouraging smile and pulls away gently, reaching for the headgear. Jongin supposes he should do the same, but he’s frozen to the spot, his chest already heavy with regret at the words that just won’t leave his throat.
“I know,” Sehun says softly, as he reaches for Jongin’s headgear and snaps it securely to his head. “If this really is an apocalypse, the only way I would want to die is fighting alongside you.”
Jongin smiles a little in return, and closes his eyes, relaxing into the familiar feeling of being inside Sehun’s head, of allowing Sehun into his.
“You guys are good to go,” Chanyeol announces, before he drops his voice, such that Jongin can hear the tremor in it. “Good luck, guys.”
Next to him, Jongin feels Sehun reaching for his hand and Jongin squeezes it tightly, while he allows memories to flood his brain. He remembers the fear in Sehun’s heart, as he crouched in a corner of the street, awaiting death. He remembers the pain his brother felt, screaming out a final warning to him, moments before it dissipated into nothingness. He remembers Kris, the look of resignation etched on his face, the moment he steps out of the elevator and wipes away the tear stains on Sehun’s face, forcing him to make a promise that pains both of them.
And he’s filled with the urge to end this, win or lose.
“Ready?” Sehun asks, when Jongin finally lets go of his hand and opens his eyes.
Jongin grins in return and nods.
Sehun returns the smile and turns his eyes to the road before them. And Jongin knows, that at the end of this insanity, regardless of what the outcome may be, Sehun will be there every step of the way with him.